Monday, August 5, 2013

Night of the Cobra Woman (1972)

Night of the Cobra Woman (1972)
Rated R
Starring: Joy Bang, Marlene Clark, Roger Garrett
Directed by: Andrew Meyer
Tagline: Only the cobra could satisfy her unearthly desires.
Running time: 85 Minutes
Netflix

Quick summary (from IMDB): Horror story of a beautiful girl turns into man-eating cobra.

(That has to be one of the worst IMDB summaries I’ve ever seen…)

Sometimes, you stumble across a movie that looks so bad that you HAVE to watch it. And that was the case with Night of the Cobra Woman. The combination of the picture and the Netflix description were enough to promise me some Mysterious Science Theater 3000 style of enjoyment. And up until my wife fell asleep with 5 minutes to go or so, that’s exactly what we got. There is nothing more fun than mocking a terrible movie, and Night of the Cobra Woman was one of the worst I have ever seen.

The acting is understandably atrocious for a B-movie from 1972. In fact, the best acting in the movie was the cobras. I never thought a snake could out act a human being. I’m not sure if they were trained snakes or what, but they were able to convey so much more emotion than any of the human actors. It’s a shame that all of these snakes were probably killed during or after production wrapped. I’m sure if PETA had existed back then, they would have hated this movie.

For what it was, there was a disturbing lack of gratuitous (read: comical) nudity, especially since sex was a major plot point (I think). You go into a movie like this expecting a certain amount of unnecessary nudity and when it doesn’t pay off, it’s kind of disappointing. Especially when you consider that the lead actress is named Joy Bang. It’s an unfortunate name considering that she brings neither to this movie.

For as much fun as I had making fun of nearly everything that happened in this terrible movie, I can’t really recommend anyone to waste their time watching this unless you’ve got some sort of obsession with B-movies or are a Joy Bang fanatic. There are so many better terrible movies out there that this one just isn’t worth it.

0 out of 5 stars

Trailer:

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