Friday, May 11, 2012

Bottom Five: Comic Book Movies

Yesterday I dropped my Top Five Comic Book Movies list in honor of The Avengers. On the flipside of those awesome movies, we have the bottom five. 

5. The Punisher (2004)

As far as I am concerned, Dolph Lundgren is The Punisher. And even though the 80’s Punisher flick is also not good, it’s far superior to this failed attempt at a reboot. I had somehow come by a copy of the DVD, with no case, and decided to watch it. For some reason, I didn’t immediately through the disc into the trash. They even got a sequel out of it attempted to reboot it a third time with Punisher: Warzone in 2008, which is ludicrous. 

4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Given my love of all things X-Men and Wolverine, I was so excited to see this movie. I was actually too excited, and I settled for watching the unfinished, leaked version of the movie. It seriously detracted from the whole experience. I genuinely regret not waiting a few months to see the finished product in theaters. I was so disappointed that I have yet to watch the finished product. It wasn’t even that the movie was bad, because it wasn’t; it was just that watching it with visible fight wires and mock-up CGI effects made it awful.

3. Batman Forever (1995)

I love Val Kilmer, and was kind of excited to learn that he’d won the role of Batman, but a blonde Batman? That’s just stupid. Chris O’Donnell as Robin wasn’t awful, but it didn’t really fit either. Both of Joel Schumacher’s films had villains that were far too cartoonish. Batman and Batman Returns were nowhere near as campy and stupid, and the Chris Nolan films are far more serious and dark.

2. Batman & Robin (1997)

The casting of George Clooney as The Caped Crusader wasn’t the most puzzling casting (see Batman Forever) but it certainly was odd. Clooney is too charming, and not nearly brooding enough for Batman. That, coupled with nipples on the Bat Suit, the inclusion of Robin and Bat Girl, and the overall campiness of the villains made this a pretty dreadful entry into Batman lore.

1. Catwoman (2004)

Truthfully, I have never seen this movie in it's entirety, and I've no desire to. I’ve seen the clip of Halle Berry getting attack by cats, and that’s enough for me. Yes, Halle Berry in a skintight leather/latex suit sounds awesome, but it’s not enough to base a movie on.

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